What a whirlwind and still so much of 2020 we have left, certainly have been through enough. Now what?
I had just turned forty this past March and had not posted a blog in a long time. I decided this year would be my new chapter. However, as we all know the unexpected happened to our world. As a society we faced Corona Virus or COVID 19 and now we had to do the impossible and cut out civilization in our modern time.
For myself, my family lost two family members, my husband lost his job and then I lost my job and we had to redesign our brain, goals, dreams, hopes and prayers.
At first glance, this was not only horrible but devastating. The loss of the family was utterly shocking. This could not be happening to us and not being able to be there for the family and mourn these amazing people that we loved so much. The matriarch and patriarch of our family was taken from us so swiftly. We could not hug and embrace anyone who needed the love. As time moved on we had to push on without consideration or emotional healing.
When my husband was fired in April at first I felt life would just swallow us whole, and we could not survive with my job alone. I started to save and contacted all our utilities and bills to warn them them of our situation and right when I thought we had it under control I was then terminated and now I had only our savings. I felt sadness finally overcome us, and then my husband said we got this.
This whole time since “quarantine” I never felt embarrassed or the need to explain anything to anyone as I could clearly see my neighbors and family were facing the same issues. We were not alone but forced into hypochondria, hermit dwellings and of course solitude.
We faced our children and decided to tell them our truths and what is going on in our world. They were ages four, nine and eleven. I was not surprised on the level of information they already had and my sons biggest concerns was our health and well being. They are normally very mature and articulate and the care is very reliable, they let us know we can count on them.
Getting desperate was not a choice I had to search my soul for a stronger mother, wife and neighbor. With my savings I started momming up our budget, my time, our life experiences, walking with my kids, my dogs and never without masks, gloves and shields. Taking my children by hugs only and constantly letting them know how proud we are of them. Playing with them and relearning who they are. I had missed so much of them due to work and life and the daily hustle.
My husband did not let us down as he started to become the best baker in town, builder, inventor, dog trainer, crafter, artist, pianist and even an ordained minister. It was amazing to see him blossom into his passions he always wanted to do. He became more involved with the Rotary Club of our town and started to smile like I had almost forgotten he could and had’nt seen for all these years.
I felt lost in the beginning and I became introverted but my husband inspired me to just thank GOD and feel blessed and remember who I was. And, one day I did, we all did.
I searched the internet and found maybe the last one but a pool that will do the job and I got it a 12ft. kiddie pool for my children. With our own two hands built my family a kid oasis in the backyard. We spent every day there even in the early cold spring. When we heard the lake would open we decided to go and see. Looking back on the past three months I can honestly say that we spent every day from Monday to Friday at 11 am to 12:30 at the lake and then in our yard in the afternoon just living, for our children.
Finally, living a way that focused as a family with our children and not a penny to spend, spare or lend. We had to rethink our budget: food, bills, lifestyle but we did not save on was praying and staying mindful and hopeful still.
My husband was able to find a new job in July and we are grateful with a very tight purse. I still need to be with my babies as I have no camp to send them to and no job to run off to, all they have is me and I have is to be with my family as this is what we need now in this reset of life.
What will fall bring? What will happen when the boys go back to school? I start to feel the anxiousness come over me but I turn to my husband and he grounds me and says that we will worry about that when it happens live for today.
Thank you for reading my blog I am back with vengeance for life my #Fannyasticlife !
#COVID19 #CoronaVirus #2020 #LifeReset