Got hope?

Recently my father passed away.  I have been torn to write down anything for a while.  When he passed I quickly wrote an obituary (never sent in) and a ulogy (never spoken) but we had heard that his death may have been murder, torture or he may be alive; uncertain. Nevertheless,  we then we found out that it was true.

How could this be? My father was suppose to come back to the United States this year; he had waited the ten years.  All that stood between us was paperwork, filing and an interview.

My heart cracked and I just dont feel the same.  I had forgotten the golden rule that my dad told me. Since, I was a little girl my father would say…”Fanny lower your expectation so it doesn’t hurt so much in the end”… I always thought that my dad was silly to say this, and most of his catch phrases.  However, now, not as a an adult but an adult who experienced his passing; suddenly all his phrases make sense and have transitioned into defining statements.

Here are some examples and what I believe may have been verses from songs.  In my home, he constantly used them to emphasize moments:

“Caught you with the meat in your mouth”

“Distance, don’ let them take you away”

“Trash, don’ pick it up, don’t throw your life away”

“You wouldn’t buy spoiled milk, so why would you buy anything less than an A”

“But, do you love me”

“Via con Dios”

“Smile, when you feel like crying”

“We are still on earth, together”

“Eleanor, me for, Amor, the door rhyme with Fanor”

“I dreamt of your mother, she loves you”

“My Shari”

I see that now; the meaning.

Hope, I have it; and for the rest of my #Fannytasticlife

 

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In memory of:

Ramiro Fanor Alanez Melean

03.11.49 to 08.27.17

 

 

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